Friday, April 8, 2011

Anybody else get angry when somebody asks if they need help with something?

I don't think women realize why men react when they ask if they need help

I'm sure there is some memory of your father doing some project like moving furniture or fixing a lighting fixture and your mother comes in "Sweetie do you need any help?"

"...No! just just .... I don't need your help just go away"

We don't hear "do you need help?" we hear "I don't think you can do this by yourself, you should probably give up, you can't do it, you are weak"
When men are asked "do you need help?" it is insulting to us. It is perhaps the most emasculating sentence a man can hear.

And even though the question has all the good intention in the world, that is how we interpret it.

Men are independent creatures. Not independent where we don't like interacting with people, but independent when it comes to doing jobs. Evolutionarily this makes sense. Women were the nurturers, men were the providers. Sure the family wouldn't survive without the woman breastfeeding the children and giving them constant affection. But the role for the man was to provide food, provide shelter, teach skills to pass on to his children so they could survive.

This is where men's sense of intrinsic gratification comes from... a job well done.

Women don't understand men fixing up an old Mustang, power-washing a deck, grilling steaks for the family....

It is programmed in to us to get a sense of accomplishment and worth from simply doing things by ourselves

It proves our worth as a man

So women, next time you see your man struggling with something.... just let him be

1 comment:

  1. It's mainly just because women aren't good at anything...
    Haha, i jest.